I confess to being just a little bit bummed out by reader reaction to Chapter 7 so far. I mean, I descended into dark valleys and climbed rocky, freezing mountains while fending off various hoards of dragons, Vikings, and demonic cultures to bring it to the e-reader public at large. There was even a moment of weakness when I stood in front of that molten maw and thought to myself, “I don’t have to do this. I could just keep this story to myself forever.” But my plucky sidekick and damnably thin nemesis forced my hand to keep working.
And then I released chapter 7. I admit I was primarily thinking of the readership base on Amazon.com – one had even hunted me down wondering when the next chapter was coming out. With all the sales HB has seen there (most of them being free downloads, but that’s not the POINT) I thought for sure Chapter 7 would get a few reads, maybe a couple of good reviews, and a pat on the back.
What it got was two downloads that were immediately returned for a refund.
You know, I truly wish people wouldn’t do that. It’s wrong on so many levels. I know they’re not returning it because they didn’t like it – it’s Chapter 7. In order to even care enough about Chapter 7 to read it, they would have had to read up to Chapter 6 (which they probably returned immediately for a full refund). This means they’re following the story.
Yes, I put Heavenly Bride up to read for free on the internet. So you’d think “Okay then it’s okay for these people to use Amazon’s policies to read the comic for free.” But it’s not okay.
First of all, it hurts Heavenly Bride’s ratings and standing on Amazon. It already has only half a chance of getting seen by potential HB lovers due to getting beat out by the big guys in a random search. Put Heavenly Bride into Amazon’s search bar. You might see one of my books. You’re definitely going to see a lot of material for Hand of the Heavenly Bride. Further down you’ll see a bunch of Christian book titles that may or may not read “Heavenly Bride” anywhere. HB doesn’t get that much of a mention. Every time someone returns their purchased copy for a refund, the system is told to avoid advertising that book. It’s a liability to the Amazon system.
Second of all – and I hate to say it – it’s theft. You’re hurting my ratings, you’re stealing my hard work, and you’re stealing from my future success. True, in the opening of each book I encourage you to share your copy for free. I don’t encourage you to steal the book and then share it for free. If you want to read it for free so badly, why can’t you just truck your ass over to the website and have a good gander? Give a girl some support with an internet vote and some good ratings? Why do you have to slap me in the face in the process?
And speaking of being slapped in the face – thirdly. Thirdly, it hurts my ego dammit. There I was all excited. Did people like it? Was there finally going to be a discussion buzz in the Amazon forum? Oh, no. People must hate it. Why am I doing this again?
And folks have the nerve to say they hate supporting webcomics because so few make it to the end. Well, some folks seem dead set on HB meeting a fatal end. Kind of like a self-fulfilling prophesy.
Crossposted from my Facebook.
K so guy is wearing a shirt that says “My Indian name is Crawling Drunk.” Folks are all up in arms about it because it’s racial profiling. But it’s damn funny, even from a Red perspective.
- 1. If you’re “Native American”, “American Aboriginal” and/or “American Indian” but you call yourself an “Indian” (which I still do) then you’re considered a wannabe or at the very least stupid because everyone knows “Indians” are from India, not the Americas.
- 2. Last I checked, people from India didn’t have “Indian Names.”
- 3. In fact if you really want to go on about it, the concept of an “Indian Name” is a Western concept born from many tribes’ naming ceremonies. Point in fact: My name is Spearcarrier. (Not Spearcarrier Woman or some other Westernized equivalent that doesn’t quite mean the same thing.) Sure I earned it. But it’s not my Indian Name. It’s my NAME. Period. I don’t have an Indian Name, even though I am Native American/American Aboriginal/American Indian/just plain Red.
- 3b. This does not mean my name is a strange string of foreign letters that pretty much equals to “The Indian formerly known as Kat.”
- 4. With all that and much more I could think of if I tried, this racial profiling people are getting upset about is really Western Caucasian profiling and not Red Profiling at all, being as (as I mentioned before) Western misunderstanding is where the concept of Indian Names comes from. It could be argued the guy in the photo is Caucasian, but he also looks like he could be my cousin so I would rather not haphazard a guess to his ethnic background. I only know he’s wearing a shirt that made me laugh.
- 5. Looking at the whole concept of naming in general, which is a worldwide thing and thus difficult to pinpoint as racial profiling – being as everyone has it in their culture on some level or another starting with changing their names upon marriage, earning a nickname, or being given a new name after they meet manhood – I’d say if the stupid fuck wants to be known as Crawling Drunk until the end of his days… let him.
- 6. It rather reminds me of that old joke “Walks with Eagles.” Damn funny, if you truly understand. Poor guy thought his name was so cool, but little did he know of the people laughing at him behind his back for being such a turkey.
We shouldn’t be so damn thin skinned over every little thing like a bunch of PC morons. Point and laugh, because that’s what he wants you to do. And call him Crawling Drunk for the rest of his life. When he figures out what an insult that is he’ll want it changed, but by then it will be too late for Crawling Drunk.
Do we really have nothing better to do than pick on every little aspect of culture, demanding the world change for feelings that don’t have to be hurt in the first damn place – while at the same time having the nerve to get angry when the school system places a fine on someone for not adding crackers to their kid’s meal? Or being insulted when our neighbors call the cops on us for (gasp) walking outside barefoot? How about all you Christians out there who have “multiculturalism” shoved down your throats daily while at the same time your own culture is being banned from schools and boycotted in stores?
Get a grip people. This is more than just a shirt. This is a situation that could be handled a hell of a lot better. And I don’t mean by looking for another way to add a feather to your coup stick.
Upon meeting a certain person a long time ago, I saw he was playing a war strategy game that I also happened to have on my computer at the time. I asked him if he really liked it, thinking it would be neat to have someone to talk to about it and maybe get some tips. He replied snottily, telling me that I wouldn’t understand it, that it was above my education and capacity. I wouldn’t like it.
Upon the second meeting of this person we got into a brief conversation of WWII while my husband handled some business. I felt it was a pleasant conversation as I was studying Hitler’s metaphysical quest with a little more enthusiasm than I do today. When it was time to go, I suggested to this person, “We should hang out again sometime and discuss Hitler.” He sneered and said to me, “You’ll lose.”
I chose not to give that person a third time to judge himself better than me. See I’m going on 46*, and this means I’m educated and smart enough to figure out that what I didn’t like was being treated like a moron, and that he lost out… on a possible friend.
Moral of the story: don’t sweat it when you meet a snob. Snub them back. They’re the ones missing out. =^-^=
*Not really, but for some reason I decided I was 46 last month. My friends had to correct me.
… no I didn’t forget 10 Confessions & A Kiss. My life has just sucked that bad.
However, there’s good news. I know I had decided “pencil forever” on the final art style but the other day I stumbled across a way for me to do the one look I’ve been wanting to do from the beginning. And with that, 10 Confessions will be taking another style track: most likely the final one if all goes well.
It’s all because of how I’ve been working on 3D to get Akashik back up again. I got curious, did some tweaks, and before I knew it I had a very good looking (if drawn a little differently) Zoe with perfect toning and great proportions. And I realized… I can totally do this.
So for the past 24 hours I’ve been working on some things as fast as I can before my coach turns back into a pumpkin. I have the four main guys done up and even rendered. Want to see?
So yes, things continue to fall back together.
For those that don’t want to wait for the website to update, Heavenly Bride Chapter 7 is complete and available at Smashwords.com as of an hour ago. It’s also available at Amazon.com, but currently you have to search very specifically for “the heavenly bride chapter 7″ to find it. I’m sure it will be completely in their system soon.
And of course it’s available through our favorite distributor: Drivethrucomics.com in epub, mobi and DBZ formats.
There’s always a sense of accomplishment when I get things into Drivethru.
Heavenly Bride fans haven’t heard from me in a while… it’s not on purpose. I’ve been working, and for a month straight my computer was hijacked by some nasty malware. The end result is I lost work time, paid work time, had to spend money I didn’t have to get the computer cleared, and then yesterday the first fake check came into the bank from said hijacking.
I’m real lucky, I guess, that I’m not in my town in Illinois – where I went to the police to report my identity was suspect so I could get a police report for the credit bureaus was was called a liar in not so many words. I went to the police station here and got my report. If another check comes through, I’ll be able to fight said identity theft.
Even though I still have scores of work to do, one of my jobs is in a lull. So I took the extra hours .. not to catch up on commissions but to catch up on Heavenly Bride. This is usually not anything to make note of, because it’s more notable when I actually finish a page and post it for people to see. However, today I added another step to my HB creation process.
Why would you do that??? you’re wailing to me right now. I can hear the outcries across the land. This is going to slow me down! Now I’m going to take even longer!
Truth is, this particular process I used to do in the beginning – except not on such a streamlined scale – and I still do from time to time. You can tell from panel to panel. I’m talking about using 3D to set up sample scenes for me to draw from, of course. I can’t draw that stuff without a reference. I suck as an artist.
But with the prep work for Akashik’s reboot and my intention to go almost 100% 3D there I’ve come to realize that I need to pull in some more tricks for HB. I want the artwork to be even better looking you see. I already have been aware that professional mangaka will use tweaked photos for their manga backgrounds, and they also are using CGI to generate what they need. Taking that knowledge and what I’ve gained with working on Akashik, I sat down today to do the final two pages of Chapter 7.
I normally wouldn’t do a sneak peak for folks outside of the Pup Forum, but this is a big deal for Apocalypse comic creation period. See the sneak peak. Wooo.
Pulling in CGI like this actually is a bit costly – but that’s what your support dollars are for, to help this comic and others I do be the best they can be. If I like the process,I hope you’ll be able to see the difference. It’s too bad it doesn’t speed things up for me too.
And I’ve decided that yes I’ll be skipping Cyphacon this year. But I may also skip Bayoucon this year. And we won’t be putting up a Christmas tree, although if I can get a wreath I’d like that for the door. =^-^=
The past year’s events have kind of left me… not wanting to do these things anymore. A lot of what I’ve been doing was for my children’s sake: I’d pick up trinkets at the con for one, I’d drag the other along so she could have fun, we’d put their presents under the tree. It’s all kind of pointless now, really. My kids will never know how much my world centered around them, that even when working a lot of it was for them in some offhand fashion… from buying food to somehow getting a prom dress… to sending the boy a card or random item I thought he’d like. These days I’m just… fuck it. There’s literally no reason to bother any more. So I’m throwing out the hype, the glitter mess, the exhaustion and trading it in for peace and quiet.
I haven’t been able to put out a single new chapter for HB all year because of all that’s happened: that’s a big incentive for not doing any conventions. I have nothing new.
And I don’t want to do commissions so much anymore. I’m burned out. I want to do my *own* stuff. I wake up every day wishing I’d win the lottery or… something… so I could, indeed, do my own stuff.
But maybe we’ll go just to hang out. I haven’t gotten to do that since… oh… ever. =^-^=
Ironically I’m pro “the reason why Anonymous got together”. But yo, this ain’t no Anonymous shit. This isn’t even their MO.
It’s not “harmless fun.”
It’s “not like you don’t hack people’s bank accounts.”
You just cost me a full month’s pay. And possibly my new job. If there were any justice in this world, you’d be held accountable for my bills and the fact that my bank account you “didn’t hack” has been hurt by your selfish and cruel actions.
I hate you all. With a black candle vengeance. No really. With a black candle vengeance.
I encourage everyone around the globe to join me in my circle of hatred. Let us all join hands every night at midnight EST and send vibes of “die die die” to these infantile bastards of spew. Let this continue until my bills are paid in full and this sort of things doesn’t put such a heavy burden on me.
Join the dark side, to defeat the stupid idiotic side.
... to let yourself go.
When it comes to my marriage, I'm at a disadvantage. For the brief courtship I was given I spent most of the time seeing my husband unshaven because it was while he was fighting overseas in an area where shaving... not so much. It was when he came home for leave and hadn't been able to shave. And when we got home, he shaved because he wanted to give me a good impression.
Admittedly there are other lacks in his grooming habits I noticed right away; little things that through love I have overlooked and accepted as part of him. And they haven't changed: they've neither gotten better (despite failed attempts to help) or worse. But the shaving, omigod, the shaving.
I wish the fuck he'd shave. I mean, for more than because he has to go to work. Or when he decides he wants to get laid. Seriously. I wish my man gave a damn about his appearance beyond putting on a stupid costume for the SCA.
I gave up a few weeks ago on the matter because, well, I hate being a nag and trying to change someone. Even so I brought it up again tonight because he has an appointment tomorrow and, more importantly, for the past two scruffy days he has approached me for hugs and been insulted when I pushed him away. He got defensive as usual before going to bed, and I was left here in the office feeling more than a little bothered by the situation.
Hello, peopole. Listen, when you're in a long term relationship there's this consideration you have to give your partner in order to, well, keep your partner. I haven't stopped bathing and shaving because I'm married... to be honest I've gotten more serious about it, using bath scents and doing things I never bothered with before. That bathroom is now a shrine to the glory of the human body when I used to just jump in, shower, shave, wash hair, jump out. My man has a woman that not only is clean, she *smells* like she cares.
Why? Because I have a mate now, and you should care about your body not just for yourself but your mate. You should care to always be attractive to them and remain appealing, lest you lose their interest. Too many people think that marriage certificate somehow seals off the human mind, body and heart into this timeless vacuum. They get that ring on their finger and they're done, the work is over. But the truth is the work is only just beginning. You've entered a courtship for the rest of your life.
When this issue comes up for me, I end up spending time on the internet finding articles that show women don't like the "I don't give a shit about myself like... at all" approach. They like clean cut chins, or sculpted goatees. Long scruffy beards, no matter how popular Duck Dynasty is making them, are still mostly out when it comes to the bedroom. Or hugs. Or kisses.
And I find scores of men who continuously say the same thing. "The beard gets soft when it's grown out. You just gotta put up with the scruffiness until it's done growing." To balance that there are three times as many women who keep saying, "Um... what are you fucking stupid? I've been scruffed by a long beard. Your beards HURT. Do you not get it, you fucking ignorant inconsiderate selfish assholes? YOUR HAIR HURTS OUR SKIN!" And those women, whose ranks I share, just get ignored and ignored. It's like.. "yeah what did you say?"
I find people who point out how unfair it is that a woman is expected by her partner to not only stay shaved but, in many cases, to grow their hair long because it's sexually appealing to their mate. But the minute they ask their mate to please shave for the same reason they're called out as controlling psycho bitches and more. I saw one crazy idiot tonight that said that long hair was a glory of fertility and a woman should be forced to grow her hair long as a result. And a man should be allowed to shave his face however he wants but it's better for his fertility to grow his beard long. WTF. Double standards much?
When I told my husband "look, do your face how you want just don't touch me and don't expect sex when you shave last minute anymore" he got angry at me.
Well, gosh. The only time he wants to be pleasing to me as a bedroom partner is when he wants to get something out of it. Nevermind about my feelings at all. This is a major turn off because, well, I feel used. And unappealing. If I were appealing, he'd want to make an effort for me. But his action says, "I only want to get my rocks off." If he wanted to keep me interested in mating, he'd want to be groomed when he doesn't want sex as well.
And it's a big turn off to not even be able to snuggle to my man without getting my skin scraped. It's like being punished for expressing affection.
I feel grossed out by it: the germs. Gads. The body oil trapped. The... collected dirt dust, cat dander... whatever. No, showering does not make me feel better. You showered, okay. You also continued to drop dead skin cells and oil products after you toweled off. And germs? You don't wash those off. They don't wash off. It doesn't help my best friend, age 17, ended up nearly dying from having dirty sex. Could here be any bigger of a turn off? I mean seriously.
And the biggest thing I think is cultural. I didn't understand when I was older how being clean of body by removing our hair was such an intricate part of my culture. Let's put that myth of not being able to grow facial hair aside. We shaved with clam shells. We ripped our hair out using honey, wax, pine sap. We sculpted ourselves. We... have always been very. Clean. So it's only natural that this model that I grew up with would be my ideal of sexual attractiveness... and that being unkempt is not only a sign of slovenliness and laziness, it's a weakness.
I like a clean, shaven man - to quote Olive Oil.
It's bothering me a lot tonight because the poor man has had knee surgery and will be out of work for two weeks or so. Guess what. Yes. I managed to get him to shave one, lonely time. I realized today as I watched his activities and compared... he probably won't shave again for the next two weeks. He hates to shave. I know how much he hates to shave.
I hate brushing my hair, but I do it. I hate cleaning the kitchen, picking up after him, being his personal chore calender, feeding the animals, washing the dog, and that horrible show Revolution. But for him I have put up, performed, and watched them all. And that's not all I do for him.
I dunno. He can be very sweet. He'll do a lot for me. I can't fault him for it. But... he needs to shave. I can't be any plainer. I guess I'll just stop making an effort as well. I feel like I'm beating a dead horse, and it's not fair being the only one in the relationship that cares enough to make sex appealing.